Family Is First

I often use my personal experiences to help guide and coach my clients and business acquaintances. But recently with all of the changes going on, I find myself at a loss for internal inspiration.

Recently I was having a conversation with an old friend. My children’s grandmother to be precise. We were talking about how my oldest son would not get to experience the formalities of being a senior in the last few weeks of high school due to COVID 19 and our seclusion from each other. I quickly said, that he was fine and the formalities were just that, formalities. Her response was quick, “are you not romantic at all?”

I laughed and responded, “I am romantic but I do not have an attachment to things or pomp-and-circumstance.” Of course she ask why. I explained. When I was 25 years old, my house almost burnt to the ground. It was salvageable but I lost nearly everything. That same year, prior to the fire, I lost my daughter. After two divorces and many other tragic events, I have learned not to become attached to things. They come and go. She had no idea, because I never talk about it with anyone. I then reminded her, that the only thing I care about is people.

A few weeks back, I was with a friend driving to go Mt Biking. He was frustrated with his significant other. I guess his challenge was that even though she live a  mier 45 or less minutes away. When he really needed her she would not put forth the effort and come to his need. He then looked at me bothered and stated, however, even though you live 1200 miles away, if I said I really needed you, with no questions asked you would book a flight and be here in a few hours. He was right. I would do that.

Why would I do that? To me it is such a simple answer. It is what I am suppose to do. But not only that, to know exactly what people need before they know they need it. To listen to their words, subtitles, and tone. I know when they need a friend. Not just because is convinces my life, but so it convinces their life.

I have been known to give up everything to help some out, to make sure they were whole. Or as the Bible says, “Do unto others as they would do unto you.”

And this is where I come back to, I am currently at a loss for internal inspiration.

This whole pandemic thing starts to flush out who cares, who is willing to shelter in place with you or not. Who calls you and checks in with you knowing that you may need a friend. Who is willing to drive/fly 1000 miles to be with you or not. When you have spent your whole life taking care of others, who really completes the line “would do unto you”. Because when the house burnt down, I went into save my son, un-protected and un-trained un-caring what happened to ME. Because I am unselfish.

Right now, there are thousands of people caring for others, who are doing amazing work and completing the line “would do unto you”. I applaud each and everyone of your selfless sacrifice. Without your sacrifice for your own personal well being, the rest of the world would stop and enter an even more precarious place. But when those people come home from their long day. Who is there for them? Is it a spouse, a son or a daughter.  Is is roommate or a friend?

Family (related or not) is first. To be enveloped in our sanctuary with those who matter most as we weather this storm is or would be amazing. With each passing day we all learn something new. I hope we all can lose our attachment to things. We can stop fighting and fueling the negativity that surrounds us. I hope we can all bridge the gap that we should be bridging right now. That we can see beyond our selfish ways and start following the Golden Rule. I hope it does not take the drama that I laid out as an example above to break the mule in you, for change to occur.

Like my title reads Family Is First, hold on to it tight and do not let it go.

 

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